The Sea

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A Remebrance and An Explanation

I can not say anything more impressive than what My Dad posted on his Myspace Blog . You will now see one of the reasons why I admire the man that I am so proud to call my Dad!

A Remembrance and an Explanation Category: Life

Forty years ago this month, an 18 year old boy landed at the airport at Bien Hoa, Republic of Vietnam. He was filled with enthusiasm, the boldness of youth, and the stylized, glorified vision of war as presented by Hollywood. Two years later, a person with the same identity boarded a Boeing 727 at Cam Rahn Bay, Republic of Vietnam for the last time. He turned at the top of the stairs for one last look at the country he had learned to both love and hate. A country of paradox. On one hand, a beautiful country of lush green jungles filled with exotic animals and birds and beautiful flowers and a land of wonderful, gentle, loving people. On the other hand, a country torn by strife where destruction lurked around every corner in innumerable forms and fashions. A country where Death ruled supreme and the Reaper's blade dripped blood.

He enters the plane and finds a seat, surrounded by so many others like him. Gone is the boy, replaced by an old man aged far beyond the 20 years shown on his ID card. The once bright, wide eyes now hold a deep haunted look, forever dulled by the scenes of death and destruction that have passed before them. Never again will the world look the same to those eyes. Eyes that have seen the look of surprise on the face of a young Vietnamese that the man has just shot when he realizes that his life has been cut short, over before he can live it. Eyes that have seen that same look over and over on the face of enemies and far too many friends. Eyes that have looked on the anguished faces of people who have lost everything to the ravages of war and seen the deaths of innocents whose only fault was to be in Death's way when he cut his wide swath.

The man's hearing has become dulled by the sound of bullets and bombs, by the screams of the wounded as they begged for help, by the moans and cries of the dying when they feel Death's icy grip and know their time is over. Dulled too by the whispered last request of so many comrades to please tell their families that they loved them and were thinking of them at the end.

The man's feelings are dulled as well. Dulled by the searing pain of hot metal tearing into human flesh, a pain indescribable and known only to those that have felt it. Dulled by the feeling of hot blood from and enemy gushing over his hand holding the knife he used. Hands forever stained with the blood of friends held close and tight trying to stave off the inevitable. His sense of smell has forever been altered. Altered by the smell of cordite and napalm, by the smell od blood soaking into the groung, the smells of decomposition and burning flesh. Smells forever remembered because forgetting them is impossible.

man's mouth is filled with the taste of death. Don't think Death has a taste? Ask someone who has been to war and they will tell you it has a very real and very distinctive taste. All these things have changed the boy who landed that first time into the old man that boarded that last plane. Many times in the past have I gone looking for that 18 year old boy. Looking for his enthusiasm and bright outlook on life and for the future only to find that he has become lost forever and has passed into oblivion.

So, to all of you, if I appear moody, reclusive and a bit standoffish these days, it's because I'm in mourning. I mourn the loss of that innocent boy. A boy whose passing was only noted and marked by me for I alone knew he was gone. So, bear with me for a time please. The mourning will pass as it has so many times in the past and I will return to being the crusty old asshole you have all come to love, or hate as the case may be.

Although I will always regret the loss of the boy, I do not regret the man I have become. I have accepted that death is inevitable and comes to all of us, but I will always fight Death to the bitter end and cheat him whenever possible. I have seen far too much death in my time to let that Bastard win without a fight.

Balmorhea 2008

Each year we make a weekend trip to Balmorhea. Balmorhea is this little bitty town about 45 minutes west of Fort Stockton that has a man made lake

and a spring fed swimming pool, respectfuly on either side of it. We decided to stay in one of the cabins in the Balmorhea State Park.

It is absolutely beautiful this time of year and the mid-summers rain just keeps it that way.

Just outside the back door of the cabin is a creek full of fish, turtles (yes snakes too) and all the beauty that West Texas can provide.

The pool was Awsome! and lots of fun


Its always nice to have great friends and family to share your leisure time!

Mandy and Aaron, Ya'll are too much fun! Kaylee, Thanks for being such a great Best Friend!

I Got Over It! He He

I've been bitchy here the past couple of weeks but have done something about it! As I posted in the last post, finally got the denture work done that I needed ( I bet Shelly's glad about that).

The important thing is that I have actually done something about Getting Over Being Butt Hurt about the foreman's position I didn't get.

The meter tech position, I DID NOT get because I do not have experience. And that's OK! So I applied again with IT Department. I had the Human Resource Department call me Yesterday about it. All was good except I had to have my supervisors approval to transfer. All I could think through the conversation was "I'm Screwed, I'll never get out of this place". HR did say the reason for the approval was because they did not want a troubled employee to be transferred to another department just to be troubled in another. Very Understandable.

So I came home last night and got my balls out of Shelly's purse and sent my boss a text message that I needed to talk to him and it was important. He text back that he would make sure and find me on the floor as soon as he got there. (its really sad, but to get my boss to communicate with me at all now is through email or text when HE is available. In person is almost impossible.)

My boss approached me this morning, here is what I told him:

"I am going to come right out and say it. I have another shot at getting on with the IT department." In a stern, demanding voice I informed, "I am Not asking for your permission; they are requiring that you send HR the OK for me to transfer to another department. What I am asking of you is to send Mrs. [XXXX] the OK." The OK is meaning that I am not a troubled employee..... (all right, that's debatable sometime but....)

He did tell me that he could not hold me back and that he would have to find someone that I could train to do what I do and do it right. (I've actually been begging for help for a long time). After asking when they want the position filled and me telling him that I need the interview to find out, he stated, " I have to talk to my supervisors and let them know. They do know that I am short handed and I don't know what that's gonna do and ......"

So I've got to keep my balls for a while.

Kind of nice, even though the counter weight between the teeth that are gone and the
extra weight that I'm not used to, is throwing my equilibrium off...

3 Teeth Gone and 20+ To Go

After 2 long weeks on antibotics, on entire day of sevier pain, Lots of pain med, bad mood swings, and loss of 10 lbs from not eating.... my 3 bad teeth on the right top side of my mouth are GONE! Yee HAW!!!!!!!!

I had one tooth that was giving me fits, and the dentist said it was 2 including the wisdom tooth. I went back last week and he discovered that it was a third tooth that was giving me trouble. After putting me on a second week of antibiotics, he pulled all three and said that the one that the one that did not even bother me at all was the one causing all the infection and pain. NOW THEY ARE GONE!

I spent most of Sunday popping pain pills and in bed because the pain was so bad. Did not think that I was even going to live let alone keep my stomach in my body for all the pucking because of the pain. Told the Doc about it today and he said that with the pain pills that he prescribed, I should not lay down. Evidently it loses its effect after a short period of time on such an intense pain! Now the SOB tells me!!!!!

Owell, now the next step. A cleaning, assesment and X-Rays for a partial or even (I Hope) a full set of dentures.

Relief...Finally! May God bless everyone with healthy teeth and no tooth ache.
As Dad said, get dentures. If you've got to hurt in my mouth than you can get out and hurt in that bowl!

2008 4th of July

Last nights fireworks show was great here in Fort Stockton. Brenton had a ball watching what he called "Bubbles" untill he got tired. Tyla was ancious to pop off the few fireworks we had but was in agreement that we could just watch everyone else ALL the way around us. Some one in a Jeep behind us was playing patriotic music which was a nice touch. Even the guy a few cars over blaring his mexican music turned it off the let everyone hear what this guy was playing. A really great time for all of us. Have a great weekend!

Tyla's Birthday Party "Aloha"

For Tyla's Birthday party this year we decided to have a Luau. The festive leis, tiki torches, flowers everywhere and of course a big bunch of people.

Everything was set. We got the yard ready. Set out the torches, and put in small Chineese palm trees. I made up a mister of 1/4 " plastic tubing draped up in and around the big pecan tree to give some relief from the heat that was expected. It actually felt very tropical already and looked great. (and it still does, by the way) Then that morning, something very unexpected happened. I woke up to find a beautiful, fantastic, most prayed for thing that everyone had been begging for, for months... RAIN! It was so perfect! A steady and gentle down pour. I was just crushed.

I attempted to put the rest of the decorations up but the rain would not stop. Mom and Dad showed up and tried to help but had to make the decision to have most everything inside. Our very good friends and "Party Planners" finally got here. Susan and Shelly started on the cake and Mandy and Mom put out the decorations. Mom put Dad to work on making the ribs and Ronny went to get Tyla's big suprise. Then everyone started showing up. I'm not going to list everyone cause it would take me an hour just to do so; I lost count at about 30 people.

When the rain let up some we all went outside to play one of the many games that we had planned. Actually it was the only one we played, since the rain tossed our other ideas out the window. It was called the Cheeto head game. You get two teams together, put the team leader in a char. Put a shower cap covered with shaving cream on her head then have the other team-mates stand around her and throw Cheetos at her head. When each team is done, you count the cheetos and then the team that has the most on their head is the "Cheeto Head"

That was the biggest mess, but absolutely hillarous!

Time for cake and presents!

After begging for months and even wanting to spend her own money to get one, we gave Tyla her big suprise!

As always we have a great time, and these few pics do not do justice for all that happened. I am going to put all of them on flicker.com and in myspace pics so check it out! Thanks to everyone that made this so great!

Untill next year...