Farting In Bed

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for year. The only friction in their marriage was the husbands habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and continued to rip them out. Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck gizzards, liver and the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waist band of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling cream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, " Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you"

"What do you mean?", asked the wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out. And today, it finally happened. But by the Grace of God, Some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in! "

Interview Update

I had my first of two, maybe three iterviews today with the IT Team at SandRidge Energy. An over the phone interview, that was just a nerving as actually meeting these people in person.

For the first time in my life I had an interview that consisted of more than 2 people. There were supposed to be 6, I think, that were in on the conversation.

As far as formal interviews this was only the second in my life that actually considered more infuses on what I had to say about myself and accomplishments than what my resume said.

After 30 minutes of answering general questions about what I have done and my accomplishments (giving me time for bragging rights included), I was informed that a person to person interview was a definite. I didn't mention salary since the interview contained several of the IT Team, but was informed by the interviewer that an immediate contact with HR would be about just that. Does that sound promising? I think so!


There was a negative that was stated a few times through the conversation that I didn't like to much. I was informed that it was important that my boss not be put in a bind due to a possible move of me to another department. OK, that could be a positive... just means there is someone else that could hold me back from getting out of the shop. That "someone else" is the one that I need to train to do my job which my boss has yet to find.

I have been very conservative on what the interview consisted of and responses I have made. I may very well have damaged my chance of getting the transfer by saying what I have but I am confident. If it does not work out than I am certain that there are far more chances out there.

Satisfied But Frustrated *part one*

I know that I haven't posted in a while but I have good reason.

I will start with the satisfied part first. About 2 months ago a hail storm hit town that did quite a bit of damage. It didn't break any windows but really put some dints in the paint on the house, the cars, broke branches off the trees which knocked over a brick pillar in the front corner of the yard, damaged vents on the roof and, well, caused a big mess. After calling the insurance company they came out and determined that we needed to fix everything that was damaged on the outside of the house. In order to utilize the EXTRA money that was given to us, I decided to contract some of the labor, then do most of it myself. I decided that I wanted to paint the entire house and trim before summers end. I've actually got almost 2 sides of it done in the passed month. That shows how fast this is going.

My big project is going to be the fence. I cannot get the stain that I want in town and have to order it. There is a national back order for 5 gallon buckets of ceder stain at every store I have gone to. At $80+ a 5gallon bucket and repeat customer you would think that they would bend over backwards to get you what you want....but not here..... go figure. ***Nicole, I need help here!***

You would never believe what a new coat of paint would do to make an old house look new and clean again!

Satisfied But Frustrated *part two*

As much as I hate too, I have to post about my Frustration: Work

Wait, THERE IS GOOD NEWS HERE FIRST: Interview for the IT Dept. on Tuesday!

I am not happy about how the shop foreman is handling things. Just today...


Ohh Hell, forget it; its not worth it.

Did I tell you that there is a positive here? I finally got an interview with......